


Galaxy

by Yakashi



Series: Kakayama week 2019 [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, College, Dramatic, Happy Ending, Homelessness, KakaYama Week 2019, M/M, Prostitute, Silly moments, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Suicide Attempt, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-02-16 07:17:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18686719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yakashi/pseuds/Yakashi
Summary: There wasn’t much knowledge on how the bond worked. All they really knew was that you had a matching tattoo, you could feel what the other was feeling, and it was personalized for each pairing (or triad in some cases). There were some cases where you could even hear the other’s thoughts, but that was only recorded in few cases.Of course Yamato's soulmate hates him. Where does he go from here?





	1. Rose Colored boy

Yamato ignored the soft snickers of his peers as he discreetly kept his attention on the guy across the library. He was quite frankly the most attractive man he has ever seen in his life. He had gray hair, a lean build, and dark eyes. The bottom half of his face was covered by a scarf but Yamato could tell he was attractive there as well. Really, the most attractive man ever. At least he is until he meets his soulmate.

Yamato’s soulmate hates him, but he hasn’t given up hope that he could change that. Soulmates were a weird phenomenon. There wasn’t much knowledge on how the bond worked. All they really knew was that you had a matching tattoo, you could feel what the other was feeling, and it was personalized for each pairing (or triad in some cases). There were some cases where you could even hear the other’s thoughts, but that was only recorded in few cases.  
Of course there were people who hated the idea of soulmates and found out how to sever a soul tie. It was fairly uncommon though. It involved an intense surgery and death was possible. Only one of the pair had to go through the surgery but it only has a 70% success rate.

 

Yamato remembered the strong bond he used to share. They used to spend hours just feeling loved and making sure the other did too. Sometimes they could get choppy thoughts. Yamato’s favorite was ‘Kakashi. Love. You.’ He knew his soulmate's name and it was unique too. His heart always fluttered at the thought of it. This Kakashi character was meant for him.  
His soulmate was happy and it encouraged Yamato to be happy, until one day he wasn’t. He became angry, sad, and Yamato tried to send happy or at least calm feelings to his soulmate. That was the last time he heard a thought, ‘I don’t want you’. It was clear and very much directed at him. Yamato felt the anger towards him and decided to stop. He wanted his mate to be happy so he followed advice that supposedly kept your soulmate bond as distanced as possible, and so far it worked.

His soulmate didn’t try on his end very much. Yamato could feel his feelings, but made sure it wasn’t reciprocated. His soulmate was generally lonely or at least felt alone, but whenever Yamato tried to reach out, he was met with feelings of frustration. All attempts at that point ceased. It hurt sometimes. However, Yamato was sure that if he just met his mate and let them form a meaningful relationship, things could be different.

Coming back to the present, Yamato scratched at the little galaxy tattoo behind his ear. It was covered by a headband that he wore faithfully. “Ow” Yamato turned as his peer bumped into him. “Oi Yamato, are you done checking that guy out? Just ask him on a date. I’m sure your soulmate won’t mind.” Anko was one of his good friends, even if she was really nosy. “Leave him alone, if he wants to be a stalker then let him.” “Ya know Iruka, you are not helpful.” Yamato laughed. Yamato was the newest to the group. Anko and Iruka knew each other since 3rd grade and then met Kotetsu and Izumo in High School and here Yamato is, in the first year of college. He met them during orientation and really hit it off.  
“Come on Yamato, he is cute, and definitely seems like the guy who likes guys with long hair and bug eyes.”  
“I do not have bug eyes! And besides, what do I say to him?”  
Kotetsu chimed in, “say, ‘Hi I’m Yamato but you can call me daddy’”  
Yamato sighed, “I hate all of you.”

That evening, he cooked pasta. He lived with his brother Asuma and his wife Kurenai. It was annoying sometimes, but Yamato was never home. He really just slept there and paid rent. It was a good gig. Asuma was in his last year of college, but Yamato could stay there until he himself graduated, unless his brother wanted the house, but that was a bridge to cross later.  
Asuma left a note that night saying he had to run an errand but was having a guest over to work on a project, so Yamato cleaned up and decided to make them dinner. 

Yamato answered the door after a few knocks. He was shockingly greeted by the cute library boy. He didn't realize he was staring.  
“Yo, I'm supposed to be working on a project with Asuma.”  
“Oh yea...come in.”  
Yamato shuffled as this man entered his house.  
“Just set your stuff down anywhere. He will be back any moment”  
“yea that's what he said. I'm Kakashi.” He proceeded to sit at the table and set up his stuff.  
Yamato’s mouth went dry. That was Kakashi. His dream man. His soulmate. Yamato thanked whatever god just blessed him. So many questions went through his head. ‘what did I do to make you hate me? Where is your tattoo at?’ first and foremost, he needed to establish some type of relationship and get to know him.  
“My name is Yamato.” ‘smooth’  
“Yea I know, Asuma said. You're a first year right?”  
Kakashi got himself some food and proceeded back to wear his stuff was.  
“Yea. It's fine I guess.”  
“It only gets worse.”  
“Oh...nice I guess.’  
Asuma walked right in as things seemed to be getting awkward.  
“Hey guys! Sorry I'm late.”  
“Hey that's my line” Kakashi shouted out.  
“Yea what a turn of events, hey what smells so good?”  
Yamato replied, “I made pasta.”  
“Ohh Asuma your brother is cute and cooks well , I need me a freak like that.”  
Yamato’s face turned bright red, before he realized what he was saying he sputtered, “then take the opportunity…..I-i mean, I can cook for you if you want.” ‘oh shit what was that I scared him. I'm a freak’  
Kakashi gave a sly smile, “I guess I'll have to take up that offer”  
“Hey watch it...that's my brother.” Asuma said with only a slight defensive tone.  
“He offered...besides I noticed him watching me at the library, he's a big kid who can make his own choices.”  
Yamato wished the floor would swallow him whole. Instead he made a hasty retreat to his room.

The next day he sat in the library like usual, waiting for his friends to join him when he was greeted by none other than Kakashi.  
“Hey yamato, I figured instead of you staring at me from a distance, you could stare at me from up close.”  
Yamato turned red, “Sorry about that.”  
Kakashi laughed, “You're cute so it's ok. I do want to cash in on your offer, how about you come to my place and make dinner tonight. I'll provide the ingredients.”  
Yamato nodded furiously, “Yea ok. Pick me up at 7?”  
“Sure thing. Here come your friends, I'll see you tonight.” with that, Kakashi winked and sauntered off.  
The crew came over and Yamato was more than happy to talk about is past interactions. 

Kakashi lived in a small one person apartment. There wasn't much, but it was cozy. Yamato made chicken parmesan that evening. While he cooked, kakashi read on the couch. Yamato could feel content radiating from him. It was nice, he liked when Kakashi was in a decent mood.  
“It's ready.” Yamato called out already making a plate for the other man.  
“Thanks. Do you always just go through people's cabinets?”  
“I don’t know. Do you always convince guys to cook for you? “  
“Touché.”

They proceeded to sit cross legged on the living room floor in front of the coffee table while some soap opera played in the background. It was relaxing. Yamato felt comfortable with the silence between them until a question entered his head.  
“Hey so why do you wear those fingerless gloves?”  
“Huh? Oh it's to protect my hands. Keeps em smooth.”  
Yamato could feel the nervousness even though it was slight. ‘he's lying’ was all he could think and decided to press the matter further.  
“Really? I bet you have smooth hands then.”  
“Probably. I lotion too. Basketball can be hard on the hands but I take care of mine.” Kakashi waggle his eyebrows to enforce the innuendo.  
“Maybe I'll have to come to a game and see those hands in use.”  
A slight blush crept on Kakashi’s face as he muttered “or my bedroom” or his breath.  
It was the lover! The tv roared out as the detective solved the mystery.  
“What show even is this?”  
Kakashi gasped, “Yamato, this is Murder of the Heart, a show about a suave detective and his search for love while solving crimes. It’s great because his soulmate died but he’s taking fate into his own hands.This is what you call quality television.”  
Yamato side eyed him, “Riight. Ok, that seems really sad actually. I’d hate it if my soulmate died.”  
Kakashi snorted, “I wouldn’t care. I don’t want to meet my soulmate. Ever.”  
Yamato could feel the anger from his mate and put all his effort to keep his emotions in check.  
“Why?”  
Kakashi’s eyes lingered for a minute. “I just don’t.”

“Alright, well I am looking forward to the day you realize who your soulmate is. I know they will love you even if you don’t love them...I love my soulmate, even if they never know it. Even if they could never love me back, but I’m gonna do everything to make them love me.”

“You are such an optimist.”  
“Someone has to be”  
Kakashi smiled and thought to himself, ‘I’ve found a rose colored boy.’  
Yamato went home on cloud 9. Kakashi and him exchanged numbers and even planned to hang out again. They were going to build a relationship and it was time for Yamato to come up with a plan. ‘First, become friends. Next, become lovers. Last, Reveal soulmate marks.’ It seemed simple enough. He has obstacles to overcome, but they were meant to be together so it will happen. ‘I’ve got my foot in the door and now the real work begins’


	2. fake smile

“KAKASHI!! WAKE UP!”

Kakashi groaned as he rolled out of bed to answer the door, only to be greeted by his best friend.

“Guy, what?”

“My esteemed rival, I see you are as hip as ever with the ‘rolled out of bed look’. Come on we have to get to class” Guy gave his signature thumbs up and a smile

“Oh fuck, alright.” 

After Kakashi put on pants, the two walked rather briskly to get to their class.  
“Why did we sign up for an 8am?” Kakashi groaned.  
“Because, it gets the heart pumping early in the morning!”  
“Really? Because I thought it was because it was the only option available and I didn’t want to take an extra semester to graduate.” Kakashi muttered.  
Guy either ignored the comment or misheard him because the topic changed.  
“So I heard you had a date with a certain guy who’s name rhymes with To-mah-toe.”  
“It wasn’t a date, we just had dinner.”  
“I bet he thought it was a date.”  
“Well that’s his problem. I don’t do romantic relationships, everyone knows that.”  
Guy became serious. “Kakashi, maybe it’s time you start. You can’t fuck around forever and I heard that Yamato was a good kid.”  
“Listen, I’ll be upfront with him and we will clear everything up. Besides, my fwb won’t be back in town for a few weeks. I would like to be entertained at least until then.”  
“Kakashi, I really think...I think you should reconsider, but at least don’t hurt the kid.”

They walked into class, 2 minutes late and proceeded to take their seats in the back row. Kakashi pondered the thought of trying for a relationship with Yamato. He was sweet, easy on the eyes, and everything Kakashi would ideally want. He hated it. He couldn’t do it. He wasn’t going to get attached to someone, because people leave. They always leave. This was going to be a strict friendship or preferrably a sexual only relationship.  
\---  
He texted Yamato to meet him at the smoothie place on campus. It really was the only venue with decent food. He walked in and saw Yamato writing in his notebook, sipping from his drink, and going back to his work as if no one else was around. Kakashi took in the small details like how his eyebrows furrowed and how he chewed his lip. ‘Why do I care? Why is he turning me on without trying. Gods I need to get laid.’ After his inner turmoil he took his seat across from Yamato.  
Yamato smiled, “Nice of you to join me.”

“Mah sorry I’m late, I got lost on the road to life.”

Yamato rebutted, “Mmm maybe I’ll have to join you next time.”  
Kakashi gave a soft smile, “Actually, I think we need to talk...about next time.”  
Yamato’s face became blank. “Ok. shoot.”  
Kakashi took a deep breathe, “Listen. I don’t do relationships. So, if anything happens between us, it’s not exclusive.”  
Kakashi shifted uneasy. What? Since when was he actually nervous about setting boundaries. He’s never had an issue before. Maybe it was because his face was blank, he couldn’t see any emotion. Maybe, he wanted to. After what felt like forever, Yamato finally responded.

“What are my options?”  
“Ahh well we can either be friends or fuck buddies.”  
“I think we should start as friends and see where things go from there.”  
“Uhh..ok.”  
Kakashi was oddly happy with that answer. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, but he knew that whatever it was, Yamato was involved.  
\---  
“Awwhh Yamato you should come join. It’ll be fun!” Anko whined as she clung to his arm.

They were walking out of class and it was a futile effort. Anko wanted him to go to her voice club. It was a group for people to spit poetry or sing or whatever to express themselves. Yamato was very against expressing himself. He had things he would rather no one hear about and if he got too deep n his feelings, Kakashi was sure to feel them.

“Anko, I don’t do feelings and the expression of them.”  
“You need to. You always look dead on the inside. No one should unless it’s exam week.”  
“Gee. Thanks.” Yamato deadpanned.

“Oh don’t be like that..I’m just worried. You act happy and all but I don’t know how you feel on the inside. It’s like you wear a mask.”

Yamato flinched slightly. She was right. He wore a mask everyday but it was for his own sake. It grounded him.He couldn’t let anyone take that away, or catch on to his secret.  
So, Yamato gave his best smile.

“Anko, don’t worry. I’m happy. Maybe next time ok. I have work to do tonight.”

She stared at him before letting it rest.  
\---

Throughout the next 2 weeks, Kakashi struggled in every aspect. Him and Yamato had texted nonstop. Lately, he found himself spaced out..but in a good way. He constantly thought of ways to get Yamato riled up. He loved teasing him, it was the only way to get him to form expression. A real expression, not that fake show he puts on plus, he had the cutest blush ever, with the way he tried to hide behind his hair and nervously scratches his nose. Then there was the way he smiled. Kakashi could tell the differences in his smiles. Yamato had a “public smile”. It was nice, believable, but only until you saw his real smile. His real smile was something else. The way his dark eyes lit up was just..wow..and the little smile lines that formed, and don’t get him started on the fact his smile is slightly crooked. He got to see the smile twice. 

The first time was last week. He convinced Yamato to go running with him at the park. They had a race and loser had to do the other’s laundry. Of course Kakashi cheated by getting a head start. Yamato grumbled, of course he had to do the laundry. “Listen Yamato, I am a master. You will just have to work harder to beat me.” Kakashi was laughing until he felt something wet smack his shoulder. As he slowly looked down, there was a white spot on his dark shirt. “You got shit on! I don’t know if I wanna learn that from you..senpai” Yamato started laughing...hard. His face turned red and tears started welling in his eyes. He hunched over to keep himself from falling over. Kakashi reveled at the sight. It wasn’t that funny, but he’d let a thousand birds poop on him if it meant seeing Yamato so happy. Kakashi kept walking and smugly said, “I really do hope you can get the stain out...kouhai”

The second time he saw that smile was later that day. When they got to Kakashi’s, he took a shower while Yamato started his laundry. When he came out, he was looking at his old pictures. Kakashi walked up and snaked his hands around Yamato’s waist. “Whatcha looking at?”  
“You really haven’t aged a day.” He was holding a picture from his teenage days. “It’s in the genes. People usually ask about the eye though. It’s heterochromia.”   
“I figured you’d tell me when you ready. But I think you pull off the red eye look. It looks bad ass with your scar.”  
Kakashi chuckled, “Maybe one of these days I’ll take my contact out. It’ll throw people off and cause mass panic and it’ll be your fault.”  
Yamato sighed, “You’re such a drama queen.”  
Kakashi leaned in and whispered sending shivers up his spine, “but you like it right?”  
He proceeded to nip his ear and make way down his neck with hot peppered kisses. Yamato breathed out, “Gods yes.” Kakashi took the opportunity to turn Yamato around so they were chest to chest. Yamato drunk in the sight. Kakashi was wearing nothing but loose pants. His hair was still wet and he looked delicious.   
They made eye contact. It was reassuring. There was something in his eyes, admiration, lust, need. Either way, he wanted to fulfil that need. The kiss was slow at first but then there was tongue and a heat that was never felt before. Their tongues danced and hands roamed as they explored each other. Somewhere in the process, Yamato lost his shirt and they ended up on the couch. Pants were lost and Kakashi lost control. He threw Yamato on his back leaving bites and bruises on his neck. He stopped when he saw Yamato fidgeting and squirming,his face looking disgusted.  
“We don’t have to keep going.”  
“No! I-I want to I just, I dont think I’m ready to go all the way with you yet.”  
Kakashi nodded ,taking note of the yet implying a later, “Ok. I understand, no penetration. I can make you feel good with just my hand.”  
He did. Kakashi remembered how he took both of their members in his hand and jerked them off together. He remembered the feeling of Yamato bucking in his hand and how watching him come undone underneath was enough to push himself over the edge.

Yamato was a cuddler. It wasn’t surprising,but the fact that Kakashi let himself be cuddled was a once in a lifetime deal. He had Yamato’s head curled into his chest with his arm lazily thrown over. Kakashi saw Yamato’s smile. It was peaceful and happy. It warmed Kakashi’s heart and he wanted to see it more.

He wanted it every day. He wanted Yamato. He wanted the happiness that he brought, but he knew it wouldn’t last forever. His stupid soulmate would get in the way. He would just be heartbroken and end up with someone forced upon him. How pathetic is that? Falling in love with someone who was never yours to begin with. Again! 

Oh fuck...Kakashi just admitted to himself.

He’s in love.


	3. Don't Threaten me with a Good TIme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning- self harm but it doesn't come till the very end of the chapter and it isn't detailed.

Kakashi was in some deep shit. He was in love. He didn’t do love. He barely did like. It was so hard though. He was drawn in by Yamato and couldn’t pull away. It was like a riptide constantly pulling him in. What made it worse was that he wanted it. He longed to have it , but logically it wasn’t smart and wasn’t going to happen. Yamato was temporary. He was fun for the time and when it’s over, he will go back to his usual state of loneliness.

Kakashi knocked himself out of his thoughts. It was game time and he had to be focused. It was against their rivals and he had to be all in. Beside, Yamato might show up and he couldn’t look like a fool in front of him. He ran out of the locker room and ran onto the court as they called his name in the starting 5. He took his position and looked into the crowd. He smiled as he saw Yamato relatively close to the front. He was holding a little sign, no bigger than a sheet of paper, that said “Go Kakashi!” It was cute. No one had ever made him a sign before and Kakashi wanted to melt. 

The game ended with Konoha taking the victory. It was an easy game thankfully, their rivals sucked. Kakashi made 5, 3 pointers and 6 foul shots. He was gross and sweaty. When the fans stormed the court, he made sure to get out the way and find Yamato. He was over talking with Kurenai and the other cheerleaders. Kakashi felt a ping of jealousy as he saw one of them flirting with Yamato.

She was blonde with green eyes and was pretty. She had her arm around Yamato and twirled her hair as she giggled and further pressed herself into his space. Who did she think she was? 

Yamato turned around and smiled as he saw Kakashi. He pushed the girl off of him. The man smiled back and joined the group, looking disinterested as possible. Yamato of course, was having none of that.

“You did great Kakashi!”

Kakashi waved him off, “Mahh only because that sign you made motivated me.”

Yamato hid behind his hair and Kakashi longed to push that hair away from his face.

“Wow! We cheer you on at every game but when he shows up, he gets all the credit?” Kurenai scoffed, half joking.

Raidou ran up out of nowhere, “Don’t worry ladies we appreciate you. In fact, you’re all invited to our party tonight. My house. 10:30. Be there.Especially you Yamato”

That was only in an hour.  
Yamato went to leave, but Kakashi stopped him.”Do you want to come? Don’t let him pressure you.”

“I think I’d like to go. I haven’t been to many parties.”

“Then let's go together. I’ll pick you up after I clean up.”

\---

The truth was, Yamato had never been to a party. He didn’t have friends growing up. He didn’t really make his first friend until college. He didn’t know what to do or how to dress so he just decided to play it casual and keep quiet.

When they got to the party, it was loud. There were people half naked, alcohol everywhere, and it was hard to breathe. There was a guy using gasoline to light a tire on fire and a guy passed out in a shopping cart. Yamato felt uneasy. He felt better when Kakashi took his hand and began to dance with him. He was still at first, but soon let loose as he let the music take him. Their bodies grinded together They melded perfectly as their hips swayed to the music and he was insanely turned on. 

Kakashi left to get a drink. He turned as hands gripped his hips from the back. The mystery person whispered, “You miss me?”

Kakashi smiled as he knew exactly who it was. Genma was back in town and apparently wanted to play. He must not have gotten any action as of late.

Kakashi spoke, “I’ve kept busy.”

Genma pouted. “Well I haven’t so why don’t we have a proper reunion upstairs.”

Kakashi sighed as he looked over at Yamato who was occupied with looking at the hooligans around him. “I’m here with someone.”

Genma gasped, “You have a boyfriend!”

“No no! It's not that. It’s just-”

“Ok then. What’s the problem? We can do a quickie upstairs and you can get back to your guest before he even notices. Come on..I see that problem in your pants.”

Kakashi was flustered. He wanted it but couldn’t help feel guilty as if he was cheating on Yamato. They weren’t exclusive but still. Kakashi was torn. He wanted it. Maybe he could just make it quick. Yamato wouldn’t even notice.

“Ok. But let’s make it quick.”

Yamato was getting nervous. Kakashi has been gone 15 minutes already and was nowhere to be found. He walked around with no such luck of finding his soulmate. Thankfully, he found Kurenai and she led him to the VIP area upstairs.

It was weird. There was only maybe 20 people and they were chill with calm music. Everyone seemed high and not very aware of their surroundings. It was better than downstairs. He walked around while Kurenai talked to her friends. Tenzo was surprised. This house was huge and had to wonder how anyone could afford this.

He stopped when he passed by a door eliciting moans. He heard “fuck yes Kakashi” and “god yes” in a way way that could only imply sex. 

Yamato was stunned. He thought he and kakashi were a thing. They weren’t official or anything but they were talking. Yamato could feel Kakashi warming up to him. He said they weren’t exclusive but the way they had been acting...Yamato was mad at himself for thinking.

He turned and left. He was hurt. Yamato really believed he could make Kakashi his...what a joke. He texted Kurenai about his departure and continued his walk home as he pushed down his feelings the best he could.

He sat in his room and contemplated his next move. Blade in his hand and blood down his thighs, he rid himself of the emotional pain and found clarity. 

He knew what he was going to do.


	4. Strange Love

Yamato was always an optimistic realist. He could find the bright side to anything but within reasonable limits. He never had his heads in the clouds, but rather found ideas with ways to implement them.

He had to really.

He doesn’t remember his parents. Everytime he does all he can see is blood and hear screams while feeling the weight of his mother against his body. 

He does remember a dark building. It was grimy and small. There were other kids his age but it wasn’t a fun place. There were kids dying left and right. Yamato was scared, but he kept his brave face on. He was a big boy. 

He remembers being poked and prodded, gloved hands, and random numbers. He was given lots of shots and then he would go black from all the pain.

There were brighter days though. Sometimes he would play with this girl and she was nice. Yamato felt like a big brother. They would play tag and peek a boo in the night when the gloved people were sleeping. 

One night she came to his bed and they were quietly playing when there were loud bangs. They were scared and hid under the bed for what felt like days. The girl went out first to check and Yamato shortly followed. There were people in blue uniforms and they said everything would be ok.

It wasn’t ok.

Yamato spent a week in the hospital. It was weird. There were bright lights and the people were soft and gentle with him. The walls were colorful and they gave him toys. He even shared the room with the girl. Until he didn’t.

One day she passed out and started shaking. Yamato screamed for help as loud as he could but it was too late. The doctors took her and he never saw her again.

He wishes he could remember her name.

\---

Then his soulmate came. He could feel other emotions and it was weird but he liked it. He learned how to read, write, and was even adopted. He was happy.

He had a real big brother and a real family and apparently someone who was going to be perfect for him.  
It wasn’t very easy. He had nightmares a lot but his mom let him sleep with her. He also started school. He was behind at first but caught up quickly. Excelled really. All the other kids were jealous and called him names. He didn’t care though. Asuma was nice to him and that’s all that matters.

Then his mom died. Yamato was heartbroken. Things changed after that. Mr. Sarutobi didn’t want to be called dad anymore and Asuma wouldn’t play any more. Everything in his life was falling apart

Worst of all, his soul mate hated him shortly after. Yamato was alone. He kept to himself. 

His whole life he barely spoke. He did his tasks and confined himself to solitude. He dealt with his own nightmares and gave himself his own comfort. Comfort. What a funny thing. To find comfort in replacing emotional pain with physical pain. He could handle cuts to the leg, or doing less conventional things to make sure he stayed alive, but the emotional inner pain was unbearable.

Then he graduated. It was time for a fresh start. He stayed with Asuma (because he had nowhere else to go.) He was shocked but decided to take his blessing. All he had to do was cook, clean, and contribute to rent. 

He didn’t plan on making friends but he did. It was foreign territory to him but it was nice to hang out with people.

Then he saw the gorgeous man at the library. He was eccentric and Yamato wanted him. He wanted his soulmate though. He knew that they were meant to be so logically he should wait for that person to come around. He really would but maybe he could get to know this other guy while he waits.


	5. changes

Kakashi felt like a total ass.

He hasn’t talked to Yamato in a while. Well, 8 days and 4 hours to be exact.   
How does he confront him?

Hold on. SInce when is Kakashi worried about this? He never cared before about possible awkward situations but...fuck. He has it bad for Yamato. His one night stand didn’t take those feelings of want away. 

Deep breaths..let’s think this through.

I like Yamato  
I don’t want to like Yamato  
But I like Yamato  
Well that got him nowhere.

Kakashi sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “This sucks.”

Knock knock

He got up to answer the door and speak of the devil.

“Hey, Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

Of course Yamato shows up.  
He sits down on the couch and invites Kakashi to sit with him. “We should talk.”

Kakashi sits next to him looking calm while internally freaking out, “What’s up?”

Yamato took a deep breath. “A while ago, you told me we could either be fuck buddies or friends, I did a lot of thinking and I want you. I want that you can give me. I’m not going to ask you to commit to me but if we do this then I want you to be thinking of just me.”

Kakashi was stunned. He processed what was said and responded, “ I can do that.”

Yamato smiled,”I was hoping you’d say that.”

2 hours later, they layed next to each other hot, sweaty, and slightly sticky.

“Wow that was great.” Kakashi sighed as he turned to side to face Yamato.  
Yamato was already up putting his clothes back on. “Yea. It was good. I’ll see you later.”

He left. Kakashi frowned. Usually he was glad to have his partner leave with no attempts of cuddling but he was actually looking forward to seeing Yamato’s sleepy smile. He layed in bed thinking about how cold and lonely he was.

\----

That’s how it went for weeks. Yamato came, they banged, he left. It was getting disheartening. However, they still went out like nothing changed. They would go to the movies, go rollerskating, and they even went bowling once. Kakashi distinctly remember the adorable pout Yamato gave when he rolled a gutter ball. The way his lip stuck out, the way he had thought of nothing but capturing those lip in his own and-

“Kakashi you’re distracted.” He was knocked out of his thoughts with Genma laying next to him, staring.

Fuck he was. He took a deep breathe to play it off. “I’m surprised you're still here.”

“Listen, normally I wouldn’t be but your performance was off, so what’s going on. “ 

Ouch. “Nothing, Sorry to disappoint.”

“Kakashi I swear...Listen.” Genma sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. “I noticed you’ve been acting different. I just want to help. Is it that Yamato guy? You’ve been with him a lot lately.”

Kakashi pauses as he thought about how Genma even noticed Yamato. 

“No.”

“You waited to long to respond. It’s definitely him. If you like him then go for it. You deserve that.”

“What’s the point? He’s gonna leave when he finds his soulmate.”

“Who knows when that’ll be? It could be years and at least you could have him until then. Why make yourself miserable thinking what could have been? Quit being a brick wall and just take a risk.” Genma got up and left leaving Kakashi to his own thoughts.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW- prostitution comes into play.   
> TW- homelessness comes into play. Not sure if that's triggering but I'd rather be safe than sorry

Yamato was in his room working on an assignment when Asuma knocked on the door.   
“Come in.”

“Hey man how’s it going?” 

“Um it’s going fine. Why what’s up?”

“Uh well Kurenai is pregnant.”

Yamato’s eyes fluttered in shock. He didn’t think they were trying to have a kid right now.  
“ and so uhh I need you move out so we can make room for the baby. You have 2 weeks.”

“But I don’t have anywhere to go.” Yamato hated needing help but what else could he do? The rent out here was expensive and it’s not a point in the semester where people are looking for roommates.

“I’m sorry Yams but I’ve gotta put my family first.” 

With that Asuma walked out as if everything was fine in the world.

Yamato fell back on his bed and just laid there. I wish I had a family to put me first. He thought as he tried to figure out what next steps to take. What was he going to do?   
———  
He spent time packing. Thankfully Yamato didn’t have much. He had a few clothes, some school supplies, and a couple of trinkets.

Everything was too complicated in his life. He was being kicked out with nowhere to go, he wasn’t doing the greatest in his classes, he had no money, and his soulmate situation was shit. It just sucked. For the first time in Yamato’s life, he completely had zero idea of what to do. He was a self proclaimed optimistic realist and he couldn’t think of anything. He really was flying by the seat of his pants. 

His door creaked open as Kakashi surprisingly entered.

“Hey Asuma let me in, I wanted to see you. Um what’s going on?” Kakashi noticed the boxes and various items in the room.

“Oh I’m...moving.” Yamato was cautious with his answer. He was moving, he just didn’t know where.

“Right. I don’t want to bother you if you’re busy but I was hoping we could talk.”

Yamato looked up and then went back to his folding urging Kakashi to continue.

“ I just wanted to say- oh wait what’s that on your ear. “ 

Yamato was confused until he felt his ear, oh shit he wasn’t wearing a headband and his hair was in a top knot.   
“No, don’t.”His attempt to cover it was too late as Kakashi had already gotten up and saw the galaxy mark behind his ear.

In that moment, he felt it. Yamato could feel Kakashi go from confusion to anger. Fuck.

“You knew didn't you.” Kakashi stared stone cold into Yamato’s eyes, not holding back any of his anger.

Yamato took a deep breath, “Yes, I did, but please-”

“No!” Kakashi yelled, “You lied to me. You lied to me all this time.”

Yamato didn’t know what to say so he hung his head as Kakashi kept talking, “ You knew I didn’t want to meet my soulmate. Yet you still stayed like fucking parasite.”

He turned to walk out the door and stopped abruptly as Yamato called out, “Kakashi please!”

“No. just stop. I hate you. Stay out of my life Yamato.” He turned back out and was gone.

Yamato was alone.

\-------------------

 

Yamato sat in his beat up piece of shit car. He bought it for $1500 with his own hard earned cash. The brake light and check engine light were on but it got him from point A to point B.He paid for everything on his own. He remembered being jealous when Asuma was gifted a car and had help getting his place while Yamato always had to work for everything. He even paid for his own college. If it wasn’t for the scholarships he had, he wouldn’t be able to pay the monthly payments and stay in university. A part time job could only pay so much.

Life wasn’t fair, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

Some people get a loving family and a cushy life, while the unfortunate get shit and have to work with what they have.

Yamato was part of the unfortunate. 

He did what he had to do with the cards he had. 

Yamato finished putting on the see through tank top and walked out to the street where he’d make his money. He hated this. Standing on the corner waiting for some sleeze ball to eye him. He hated the way gross hands would touch him and do whatever they pleased as he just took it and internally begged for it to end soon. 

“Hey cutie, what’s a guy like me have to do to take a guy like you home”   
Yamato leaned over to the rolled down window and in his best sultry voice, “Twice above average price.”

The man sneered in disgust, “You’re pricey.”

“You got a pro in here, you get what you pay for baby.”

That peaked the man’s interest as he invited Yamato to get in the car.

Yamato got back to his car and decided to settle in. It was 6 am. He had 2 hours to sleep until he would head over to the gym to shower and get ready for class. He felt disgusting. He felt used and violated and hopeless. He had nasty bruises and bite marks in his body. He went through his cash, $500 made in one night. He sighed as he pushed his seat back and pulled a blanket over him, letting exhaustion take him over. Looks like he’ll be back out the next night.  
\---------

 

Yamato sat in the library as he planned out his money for the month. He figured what he would have to pay for and what he could cut from his expenses. He picked up more hours at the restaurant he worked at and he had re-emerged into the scene of his “side job”. Maybe just maybe he could get a place to live on the far side of town where rent was cheaper and commute to school. It would be better to just drop out and work full time and maybe come back after the next semester. Gah decisions. 

“Hey Yams what are you doing here on a Saturday?” Anko strolled up.

Yamato quickly closed out of his computer browser, “Oh just studying.”

“Not anymore! You’re coming with me to poetry club, we have a jam session tonight and you’re gonna be there.”

Yamato had literally nothing better to do.

“Yea sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yams has a shit car because my first car was shit and I was jealous of kids who got really nice cars. Also I would like to say that Yams may be broke but he spends his money wisely. It's so hard to save up and keep a nice bank account when you're paying for everything on your own, especially while going to school full time and trying to work part time. Ya end up overworking yourself trying to make everything work and have some semblance of normalcy. 
> 
> Am I projecting aspects of my life into this fic? Yes, Yes I am. sue me


	7. Givin Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW- Suicide

Anko tugged Yamato’s wrist into the cafe, where they sat down in the back row of chairs. The lights were dim and there was someone on stage reciting their poem. When they were done, everyone snapped and waited for the next person to head up. Rather than poetry, he sang. IT was a beautiful acoustic. The night was actually kinda nice. Yamato felt good being there and listening to everyone’s performance. 

When it was over Anko pulled him aside, “So what’d you think?”

“It was nice.”

Ako’s face lit up, “Yea! Everyone just does their own thing. Some sing, and some people even dance to pre recorded stuff they wrote. It’s like journaling but vocally and you have a whole group of people who relate to you or at the very least just support you.”

Yamato smiled, “I liked it. Well I gotta get going, I have to work tonight.”

Anko put her head down as she reached for her courage, “ Yamato, I really had fun. I would like it if we could hang out again sometime like real friends. Please?”

“Sure.” Yamato couldn’t help but notice as she looked up with a smile beaming on her face. She ran up and hugged him before heading home. 

Yamato couldn’t help but think, “That was pleasant.”

\-------

Life got weird. Yamato was in foreign territory. He had been spending a lot of time with his friends. He had friends. Actual friends. 

“Oi kotetsu, quit cheating!” Izumo shoved him as they fought trying to win the racing game they played. It was a fun night. They were all at Anko’s while the two guys played video games, Iruka was watching waiting to play winner. They even had a newcomer to their group named Aoba. He was cool on the outside but secretly a huge nerd. 

Yamato was happy. He had people he called friends and they called him friend. Unfortunately all fun things had to end.

“Hey guys I have to go.” Yamato packed up his things as he headed towards the door. He had to get ready for work. Hopefully no one would be on his corner. He needed to make a good amount tonight.

“AWWWWWWW! Yamato don’t go.”

“Sorry guys, I’ll see ya later though.”

\-----

Yamato was walking to his car thinking about his friends. It was nice. They invited him out and they had a lot of fun together. He didn’t deserve them. He didn’t deserve their kindness. They were so nice and he was him. He was a loser with no home and no family. He sells his body for money and he was going to be a college drop out. He was nothing but a burden. A waste of space. His life was pointless. Meaningless. Worthless. 

Before he realized it Yamato was at a bridge. He stopped atop it and noticed the view. It was a long jump. There were definitely rocks amidst the rushing water. They laid there lifeless as everything happened around them. He would definitely be knocked unconscious as the water just kept running. 

It was symbolic really. He would stop while the life around him went on as usual. 

Yamato stood on top of the bridge. He let his thoughts run through him. No one would care. Everyone and everything would be better off without him. His friends, Asuma,Kakashi. Yamato was ready to leave it all behind.

“STOP!” 

What were they doing here? Anko,Iruka, and everyone else was there, running up to him but stopped as they got to the base of the bridge. 

“What are you doing?” Iruka asked completely out of breathe.

“I can’t do this.” Yamato answered.

Before anyone could say anything else, he jumped.

\-------------------

Kakashi was agitated for the past few weeks. How could he not be? He had been played for the past few months. He was angrily typing at his keyboard, when Guy brought him a coffee.

“My dearest rival how about you stop destroying your computer and take a break. “

Kakashi grunted, “Thanks”

Guy sat down and sipped on his own drink, “What’s going on? I know you hate talking but I’d like it if we could talk about it”

Kakashi sighed and put his drink down, “ Yamato is my soulmate.”  
“That’s great!” 

“It’s not.”

Guy stared as he tried to understand his best friend.

“Ugh just listen. He knew. He knew this whole time that he was my soulmate and didn't say anything. “

Guy pondered and decided to speak, “ Well I don’t blame him. You would have pushed him away as soon as you found out.”

“Yeah I would have. I don’t want a soulmate. They bring nothing but pain.” Kakashi looked down as he felt the pain creeping up on him. 

“Did you enjoy spending time with him?” Kakashi was confused by the question but went along with it.

“Yeah.” 

“So why does it matter?” Kakashi was shocked to hear as Guy became more riled up. 

“Kakashi, you are so stuck in the past that you fail to see how beautiful the present is and how amazing the future could be. Ok so things didn’t work out with Obito but dude you like Yamato. You like him on your own accord whether he was your soulmate or not. You were happy and could keep being happy with him.”

“I’m scared.” Kakashi whispered so softly Guy barely heard it.

“No relationship is ever perfect but the joy is being able to work through it because you love the person more than the situation. It’s okay to be scared. It isn’t ok to live the rest of you life with ‘what ifs’.”

Kakashi thought about it. Mabe Guy was right. Maybe he could have a future with his soulmate. Maybe things could be okay.

He felt a pain in his head.

It was a sharp pain and it was getting worse by the second. Kakashi dropped to the floor holding his head and screaming.

“Kakashi whats wrong?”

Kakashi couldn’t respond, but kept screaming, it was as if his brain was being stabbed with a thousand needles and was on fire. He screamed for what felt like hours until it abruptly stopped.

“Kakashi what the hell happened?”

Kakashi felt out of breathe and worn out as he grunted out, “I have no idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When ya hit rock bottom the only way else to go is up right?


	8. Fireworks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are looking better for my boy Yams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one goes out to user Waterlilyblue!   
> Your kind words are forcing me to not just give up on this. Thank you so much.

The human body is fascinating. Under enough stress it will do some amazing things. The body’s sole purpose to to keep living. 

Yamato didn’t think much about that. His head couldn’t think about that. He layed in silence as he took in the noise around him. He could hear the chatter and bustling only a hospital could produce. He could feel wires that no doubt hooked up to whatever was making the beeping noises. He also felt a light blanket on him. He could smell antiseptic and continued to let his senses take in the world around him. Maybe if he didn’t open his eyes, everything would fade away and he would be gone from this earth. He would die and everything would be okay. No one would have to be inconvenienced because of him. Not Asuma, not Kakashi, Not Anko, Not anyone.

He continued to listen and head sniffling. Sniffling? Yes, soft ragged breathing and the sound of someone who was definitely crying. Yamato slowly opened his eyes and saw a depressing sight. Iruka was in the chair next to his bed holding a crying Anko. She was clutching his chest for dear life as he held his face to her hair and seemed to whisper useless word of comfort. 

Yamato continued to watch the scene, wondering if he had ever been held like that. Probably not. Why should he when his suffering didn’t matter? He didn’t matter.

The sniffling stopped and Yamato was shocked to find a weight nearly suffocating him. That weight was Anko giving him a bone crushing hug. She was blubbering on about something but Yamato couldn’t really understand what she was saying. He did notice the cut lip and scratches on her body. Iruka ushered her to get them some water and that left the two of them alone.

It was awkward.The air became thick and uncomfortable. Yamato opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a fist connecting with his jaw. Iruka grabbed him by the collar and used his most frightening voice, “ I don’t know what kind of fucked up shit is going on your head but it ends today. We told the doctors you had slipped and fell. I called the campus psych services pretending to be you and you have an appointment next week. It’s free. You’re going to go and get help. No games.”

Iruka let go of his collar and pulled Yamato into a hug whispering, “Anko didn’t hesitate jumping after you and she can’t swim. I almost lost two of my best friends that night. I never want to go through that again. I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner how much you were hurting, but I’m here now. We’re all here now and sorry bud but you can’t get rid of us anymore. We’re like pesky parasites.”

Iruka pulled back ready to wipe his face but moved to wipe Yamato’s face instead. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry Yamato.”

Yamato paused before feeling his face. He was in fact crying. 

“Me neither.” He responded completely exasperated. He truly could not remember the last time he cried. Truthfully he didn’t know if he was even able to cry.

“It’s okay to cry” Iruka whispered as if Yamato might explode.

So he cried. He cried and he cried and he cried. Yamato let everything he had ever felt come to the surface in the form of nonstop salty tears. He clutched onto Iruka and let it all out. Somehow Anko came back and joined in on the crying fest. They were one pile of sobbing teens. Yamato had never felt so loved and free in his entire life.

\-------------------

Self care is more than just bath bombs and facials. It requires a change of mind and a persistence to find inner peace. 

Yamato found his peace by going to therapy. (Who knew Ibiki was the hardass therapist he needed.) He also found solace in journaling. Writing was a great way to explore his feelings. He could journal his feelings, or even write a poem or even a fanfiction. It was quite relaxing really.

The best part was his refined relationship with his friends. He began to know them on a deeper level and vice versa. 

Every Tuesday was friend night. They would go out as a group and hang out. Sometimes it was a simple movie or trip to the art museum. Other times they would go to a comedy show or some other cool event.  
Yamato was even part of the group chat. He had never been in a group chat. They sent stupid memes and had inside jokes. Best of all they always ended the day texting or saying ‘I love you’ Iruka had started that ordeal. He thought Yamato needed the affirmation that he was loved and Yamato was ecstatic to have reminders he could look back on whenever his depression started to rear its ugly head.

One of his favorite memories was not that long ago. The group was at Ankos house chilling in the backyard over a campfire. They sat in a semi circle in the lawn chairs as they sipped on the cheap beer bought with a fake ID. It was a calm night. The air was a little chilly warranting a sweatshirt, everyone was clamoring about whatever celebrity. It was interrupted when Kotetsu and Izumo came over with bags and devilish grins. 

“Alrighty boys it’s time for this party to get poppin!” Izumo howled as he pulled out a barrage of fireworks. Him and Kotetsu pulled out Roman candles, poppers, glow sticks, and all sorts of explosives. 

“So what you’re saying is we sent you guys out to get more marshmallows and you brought back explosives?” Aoba piped up genuinely upset over the lack of marshmallows. How do you have a bonfire without s’mores and you can’t have s’mores without marshmallows. 

Kotetsu was already ahead of the game and pulled out a bag of fluffy white goodness and tossed it over to Aoba, calming him down to his neutral state. “ Now. Let’s get this party started.” 

They placed the candle in a bottle and placed that on an old mini outside table. They gathered around as Izumo lit the firework. It went off and light lit up the sky. It was alluring until a crack was heard. The leg of the table broke. Sparks went flying and everyone dove for cover. 

Yamato and Anko went back towards the chair and took refuge behind a blanket that Yamato held up to protect them from the fireworks that were now popping off everywhere. Kotetsu and Izumo headed into the other direction and got stuck by the fence. They went to find another spot but Kotetsu got stuck. He flailed and panicked trying to get free while his skin was getting popped by little pieces of firework. 

On the other side of the yard, Aoba and Iruka were acting as if they were in a sci fi movie and were pretending (failing) to dodge the flying embers. They did slow mo back bends and horrible breakdancing moves.

Looking at Kotetsu, Yamato couldn’t help but shout out, “BACK IT UP TERRY!” Bringing out her phone to record the whole mess, Anko joined in yelling, “PUT IT IN REVERSE TERRY!” 

Everyone but Kotetsu was hollering.

Once they got everything all cleaned up, it seemed only appropriate to take a picture to capture the amazing experience. They all hovered over the phone so all of their eyes showed. Some of them had glowstick crowns, but all of them had smiles in their eyes. IT was an ugly photo.

But it was Yamato’s favorite.  
\----------

That night they lounged around in Anko’s room. Yamato and Anko snuggled on her bed while the rest of the guys sound comfort on one of her various beanbag chairs. Music was on and it was relaxing. Yamato was on the verge of falling asleep while Anko was playing with his hair when Aoba spoke up, “So are you two fucking?”

“Record scratch. Freeze frame. You’re probably wondering how I got here?” Yamato couldn’t help but blurt it out. He’s been exposed to too much now. He’s A meme. There’s no going back.

Anko cackled as she had the exact same thought. Once she calmed herself down she answered the question, “No. It’s not like that. We’re strictly platonic no matter how cute or sexy we act with each other.”

“I get it, it’s like Me and Izumo!” 

“No, Kotetsu you and Izumo are definitely fucking each other.”

Before the two dolts could process what even happened Yamato spoke up. “My soulmate is Kakashi actually.” 

“Who’s that?” Aoba questioned completely confused.

“Tall, not so dark, and very handsome.” Anko answered without missing a beat.

Yamato explained the whole story and caught everyone up on the action.

“Wow Kakashi sound like a total jerk.”

Anko agreed, “How could anyone not love this sweet boy right here.” Complete with her squishing his cheeks like a grandmother seeing her 5 year old grandchild.

Yamato smiled, “Yeah. It triggered my depression. I was really hurt and emotionally unstable and things spiralled out of control. You guys saved me though, literally. I’m seeing a therapist and taking meds, and learning how to take care and love myself. Who needs a soulmate when I have the best friends in the whole wide world.”

Anko couldn’t help but give Yamato a bear hug and the room had various sayings of “I love you too’s”

It felt good being vulnerable.

\--------

Yamato was lounging around in his room when his phone buzzed. Of course Anko was texting him, who else would it have been?

Received: Congrats on the apartment!

Sent: Thanks! It’s lucky Aoba’s room mate decided to move out. Living out of my car was not enjoyable.

Received: Yeah. I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help.

Sent: Ah! Don’t worry about it! I live and I learn. Everything is good now.

Received: I guess so. But I was wondering if you wanted to celebrate tonight? There’s a club and I hear it’s lit af and we have fakes so let’s partyyy!

Sent: Okay. But there’s something I wanna do first.

Yamato typed away his idea and could help his smile when Anko was going to be over in 10 mins.

\---------

The club was in fact lit af. The music was blaring but held a steady beat. There were strobe lights and half naked girls. It was overwhelming. Yamato wanted to leave. Anko pushed him towards the bar where they met up with Iruka and ordered drinks.

“Hey guys! Woah Yams LOVE the haircut.” Iruka ruffled Yamato’s hair to accompany his words.

Yamato blushed, “Thanks, it was time for a change.” Yamato smiled as Anko and Iruka ran their hands through his now short hair.

“And that’s not the best part.” Anko draped her arms over Yamato and lightly lifted the hem of his crop top to show two metal balls.

“Ohhh pierced titties! Damn Yamato you’re ready to be someone’s daddy.” 

Yamato nearly spit his drink, “Iruka!”

They headed out to the dance floor and began dancing to the music. They let their bodies sway until Yamato felt a sensation. He turned around and saw none other than Kakashi fucking Hatake. He was a few feet away talking to some friends, wearing delicious jeans and a bold shirt that made him look like a whole meal. Yamato wanted to devour him.

Kakashi must’ve felt something too for he turned around and for a moment they locked eyes. Neither of them willing to break. Yamato’s heart was fluttering and his stomach was doing flips.

Iruka came up behind him sliding his hands around his waist. He let his lips whisper in his ear, “How about we make Mr. Eccentric a little jealous hmm?”

Iruka grabbed Yamato’s face and led him further away from Kakashi but still in his line of sight. He took Yamato’s hips and grinded on him like his life depended on it. Yamato caught on and was receptive to every touch. Hands roamed and sweat mixed. It was like a prelude to a porno. But boy did it work. Kakashi was seething with jealousy, but when Yamato looked back, he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So this chapter is actually my favorite. When I was younger the firework scene low key did happen. I was behind the blanket with my mom laughing while my cousins acted like they were in the matrix. It was one of my most fond memories. 
> 
> I really hope you like this chapter. IF you've gotten this far thanks for sticking with me. I'm not a writer (I'm a science person) and I've always sucked at writing but I do have ideas and I like writing them. This is fun. 
> 
> Also , I am working on concluding everything but oh my god writers block is a bitch. I'm trying and I know where I want to go but it just isn't working out. UGH. 
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading my rambling. As Always, Comments and Kudos give me life!


	9. There's no weakness in forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to wrap things up boys

Therapy is dumb. 

Well, it’s not dumb but therapy is dumb.

Yamato felt like it was dumb.

He was sitting in the plush chair while Ibiki was questioning his life choices.

“I don’t think avoiding your problems is going to help anything.” 

“Ibiki, I am not avoiding. I’m simply choosing to not confront them.”

Ibiki raised his eyebrow in confusion, “Explain.”

Yamato sat up straight to deliver his response, “Well, I’m not going out of my way to avoid Kakashi, but I’m not seeking him out. I shouldn’t have too.”

He scribbled something down, “Uh huh so tell me why?”

“Well, if I want to get surgery then that’s my own choice and I shouldn’t have to ask someone else for their permission.”

“I agree with you but You already know that you can’t get the surgery without a signature from Kakashi so why not get it done and over with? We have been talking about this for weeks now.”

Yamato hates when Ibiki makes him have to think.

“I don’t know. How do I bring it up?

Ibiki took off his glasses with frustration on his face. “You know how to bring it up. Working with you made me understand you are eloquent, and you are very strong planner. So how about you tell me the real reason eh?”

Yamato rolled his eyes and took a deep breathe, “What if he says no?”

“Yamato, are you scared about him saying no or are you scared of him saying yes?”

Yamato frowned, “Both. I mean, if he says yes then I am scared of surgery. If he says no, well then I won’t know where to go from there.”

Yamato took another deep breathe before he continued, “I don’t really want the surgery. I just want Kakashi to be happy. I know it’s stupid but I would do anything for him and I think the best thing is to let him go.”

“Hmmmmmm, how about you get another opinion? Do you know anyone who has met their soulmate?”

“Uh my broth- I mean Asuma.”

“Perfect! Why don’t you ask for his advice.”

“If you don’t recall via our last session, we aren’t exactly on speaking terms.”

“This is a perfect opportunity to be on speaking terms. “

Yamato hung his head down and was getting agitated, “No it’s not. He kicked me out and told me he has to think about his family. I’m not his family...no matter how much I want to be.”

Now it was Ibiki’s turn to frown, “Let me ask you this, do you think talking to your brother could possibly strengthen your relationship?”

Yamato scrunched his nose, “ Yes? Maybe? I don’t know. I just think that if he wants me around again, then he should make the effort. I’m tired of swimming across an ocean for people who won’t jump a puddle for me.”

Yamato paused. “ I’ll talk to Kakashi. Not Asuma.”

\---------------------------

Knock knock

‘Maybe if I ignore it long enough they’ll go away.’

Knock knock

‘Damn.’  
Kakashi pried himself off the couch to go answer the door. 

“Hello, Kakashi.”

It was Yamato, probably the last person Kakashi expected to see.

“Hey, come on in.” He ushered Yamato into his place.

Yamato briskly turned around. “I’ll be brief. I just need you to sign these papers and I’ll be gone.”

Yamato thrusted the papers over to Kakashi, “I even highlighted the parts for you.”

Kakashi briefly looked them over and raised his eye, “You’re getting the surgery?”

“Yes.”

It was awkward. Yamato felt uncomfortable and quite honestly didn’t have the mental capacity to handle this.

“I just need you to sign it and I’ll be out of your hair forever.”

Kakashi continued to stare at him.

Yamato felt his anxiety increasing. “Really, I can take it down today and process it and-”

“No.”

“Excuse me. What do you mean no?!”

Kakashi ran his hands through his hair, “I don’t think this is the answer.”

Yamato threw his hands in the air, “OH?! And what is? Please I’d love to know that answer.”

Kakashi sighed and began to speak but was cut off, “No. Actually you don’t get to speak. This whole time you’ve hated me for no reason and I let you dictate my life. Well I am done with that damnit!” He walked up to Kakashi, he pressed close to his chest and let his index finger poke, “I’m going to do what I want to do from now on.”

“But is this what you really want?” Kakashi gently gripped Yamato’s wrist with one hand and wrapped the other around his waist. 

Yamato made the grave mistake of looking into his eyes. They were open and sincere and for a split second Yamato wanted to let himself melt away.   
“I’m glad you like this.” Kakashi smiled and Yamato was drowning in the beauty that was Kakashi Hatake. “So tell me what you want.”

Yamato hesitated before answering, “To fix things.”

Kakashi smiled that smile that was more overwhelming than the sun. “Me too. How about we have a fresh start.”

Yamato’s eyes blew wide. What did this mean?

“Um, Yamato, I-I messed up. Really badly. I realize now that I was unfair to you and I really don’t deserve you but the fact is I like you and I think I’d like you whether or not we were soulmates. I have no right asking this, but would you give me another chance? I’ll court you properly and make up for the years of shit I put you through. If it still doesn’t work out then I’ll sign the papers.”

Yamato was shocked, not because Kakashi said it, but because he meant it. Yamato could feel it openly. It was complete sincerity.

“Yeah, sure let’s give it a try...but I won’t be that easy to impress.”

Kakashi chuckled, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

\--------------------

 

For the first time in his life Kakashi was truly happy. He woke up smiling and went to bed looking forward to the next day. Impressing Yamato was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life. It was also the most rewarding. Yamato really made him work. Kakashi couldn’t just smile to make Yamato swoon, he had to put in effort.

It paid off though. By the end of the semester they were officially dating. 

Kakashi remembers the date that sealed the deal. They were camping. It was night time and the stars were bright. The fire was crackling as fireflies blinked around. The calm air was perfect as they laid in the hammock while Kakashi pointed out constellations. 

“This is Orio.” He pointed out the shape, “And that’s the belt see.”

“Kakashi they look like dots.”

Kakashi smiled, “They are dots but they make shapes. Come on Yamato, have more heart.”

“It’s Tenzo.”

Kakashi looked over, “What?”

He took a deep breath, “My first name is actually Tenzo.You can call me that when it’s just us.”

“Ok Tenzo.” 

“Kakashi why are you nervous?”  
Kakashi pouted, “I hate when you do that. Using our soul bond for evil.”

Tenzo chuckled, “It’s not evil for wanting to check up on you.So what’s up?”

“Well...I haven’t had any headaches in a few weeks.”

Tenzo sat up up his elbow, “That’s good!”

“Yeah the doctor said painkillers would help, but I think mending our relationship is what really made it better.” Kakashi blushed, “So thanks for making me better in more ways than one.”

Tenzo was gushing, “Stop it. I love...the fact that I could help.”

Kakashi smiled, “I love you too, so be my boyfriend?”

Tenzo kissed him on the cheek “I thought you’d never ask.”

 

\--------------------

Yamato was tending to his plants when Aoba called out, “Yamato you have a guest.”

He wondered who it could be. He turned around and greeted a familiar face.

“Hey Asuma.”

“Hey.”

It was awkward. Yamato danced on the balls of his heel until he decided to ask, “So do you want some tea?”

“No. I just wanted to give you this.” He held out a white paper.

Yamato studied it and looked back up. “This is a ticket to graduation.”

“Yea. I’m also having a little get together to celebrate but there’s no formal invite. I want you to come to both.”

Yamato was confused. Why was Asuma really here? What’s the joke? His bitterness crept up and he handed the ticket back.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m sure your family will be upset if I get a ticket over them.”

Asuma sighed in frustration. “Don’t be like that.”

“I’ll be however I wanna be.” Yamato scoffed.

Asuma balled his fists in anger, “I’m just trying to apologize!”

“Well this is a shitty apology!”

“I know!” Asuma grabbed his hair and let himself calm down. “I know.”

He continued, “I’m sorry. I’ve been a really shitty brother. It took me a long time to realize it but I miss you and I want to make things right between us. What can I do?”

“ I was homeless.” Yamato deadpanned,

“I know. I’m sorry I can’t go back and change the past but I want to use the present and the future to be better. I want a relationship with my brother and I want my child to have a relationship with his uncle. “

Yamato gave a devious smile, “okay. Well I guess there’s no time like today to start making amends.”

“Huh?”

\-------------------

“Hi my name is Asuma and I’m a bedwetting poophead and Yamato is the best brother and general human being in the entire world.”

Yamato laughed uncontrollably as he let the recording play. Ibiki looked unamused.

“So this is how your brother is making amends, silly recordings.”

“Oh no absolutely not, but I mean come on this is hilarious and he would never say this otherwise.”

“Ahh brother antics. So are things with your brother good now.”

Yamato put his phone away. “They’re getting better. I went to the graduation and he was really happy. He’s been asking me to hang out and has been sending me home with plates of food. I think he feels guilty but I told him that I forgive him.”

Ibiki scribbled some words down. “Guilt is natural. So still thinking about the surgery?”  
“Nope. Kakashi and I are really good. We’re dating now. I actually caught him shredding the papers last week. ”

Ibiki put his clipboard down and looked Yamato directly in the eye.

“So how would you say you are feeling?”

Yamato reflected on how far he’s come. He thought about his hardships and the potential he has for the future. 

“Well.. I’d say that things are looking up and life is gonna be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It. Is. Finished.
> 
> Thank you to those who followed this story. I love you. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated and encouraged.


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